How are you guys? I mean really, what the FUCK is goin' on, people? Enough chit~chat, I came here to do a job and I'm already a day late with my "Royal Recap", so let me get at it...
The scene opens up with a clip of Mr. Boston and Onyx in their room. They are now the only two in the room because thier roomates, T~Weed and Trendz, are no longer in the competion. "Now", says Mr. Boston eloquently, "We're the only two studs left". Get the fuck outta here, Boston. You're about as studly as a pug. Anywayz, fast~forward to breakfast, where Chamo enters the room looking like one of the guys from YMCA. Looking Totally out of place in his construction attire, Chamo opens a tin lunchbox and hands the guys a "new york note". The note informs the guys that NY needs a guy that's good with his hands, and that "Your Majesty" needs a lil' doggie house. (Perhaps so she won't shit on the carpet in NY's house??) Anywayz, the guys are split up into three teams, and the winning team's Foreman will get special time with NY. The Gray team consists of Tango, White Boy, and Onyx. The white team included Real, 12~Pack, and H
eat. Chance, Rico, and Mr. Boston were on the Black team. After picking the foreman, or team captain (12~Pack, Tango, and Rico) the teams began working, as NY watched/spied from the sidelines. 12~Packs group seemed to get along and share the same idea of what a dog house should be like, so they had no problem. WhiteBoy and Tango somehow managed to work together, even though Whiteboy was irritated by the fact that Tango was whining about a splinter. I think he called him a "bitch ass". As for Rico's group? Wow. Rico was getting very agitated by Mr.Boston's cheesy comedy, but was far to subtle and sincere to speak up about it. While Chance was openly pissed off with the team arrangements. Mr. Boston the accountant knew NOTHING about construction, and so stood around laughing and making candid, random suggestions like "Should we add one room for sex, and one room to smoke in?" Chance rolled his eyes. "Dogs don't smoke, dude. Ain't no smokin' goin' on in there. How is a pooch gonna roll up a bleezy?" Chance retorted. Anyhoo, 3 hours, 12 pounds worth of sweat, one orgasm (on my part) and a splinter later, the competition came to a close. First ,Ny was shown Tango's teams creation. She liked it, but the end decision was left up to Your Majesty. She put the dog down, and Your Majesty sniffed the place out, saying without saying that it was merely "OKAY". Next was Rico's group. They presented to NY and Your Majestjy what I like to call "Cardboard Hell." Ewwww. Your Majesty took one look at it and was like, "Fuck that shit". She wouldn't go near it. And NY let the guys know that thier creation was some "seriously busted up shit". Finally... 12~Packs group. They unveiled the new house, and it was a fabulous montage of pinks and silvers and blacks, with faux fur and pink zebra print everywhere. Over the top. Dramatic. GAUDY, even. So naturally NY and Your Majesty LOVED it! Your Majesty hopped in and got cozy right away.
The scene opens up with a clip of Mr. Boston and Onyx in their room. They are now the only two in the room because thier roomates, T~Weed and Trendz, are no longer in the competion. "Now", says Mr. Boston eloquently, "We're the only two studs left". Get the fuck outta here, Boston. You're about as studly as a pug. Anywayz, fast~forward to breakfast, where Chamo enters the room looking like one of the guys from YMCA. Looking Totally out of place in his construction attire, Chamo opens a tin lunchbox and hands the guys a "new york note". The note informs the guys that NY needs a guy that's good with his hands, and that "Your Majesty" needs a lil' doggie house. (Perhaps so she won't shit on the carpet in NY's house??) Anywayz, the guys are split up into three teams, and the winning team's Foreman will get special time with NY. The Gray team consists of Tango, White Boy, and Onyx. The white team included Real, 12~Pack, and H
eat. Chance, Rico, and Mr. Boston were on the Black team. After picking the foreman, or team captain (12~Pack, Tango, and Rico) the teams began working, as NY watched/spied from the sidelines. 12~Packs group seemed to get along and share the same idea of what a dog house should be like, so they had no problem. WhiteBoy and Tango somehow managed to work together, even though Whiteboy was irritated by the fact that Tango was whining about a splinter. I think he called him a "bitch ass". As for Rico's group? Wow. Rico was getting very agitated by Mr.Boston's cheesy comedy, but was far to subtle and sincere to speak up about it. While Chance was openly pissed off with the team arrangements. Mr. Boston the accountant knew NOTHING about construction, and so stood around laughing and making candid, random suggestions like "Should we add one room for sex, and one room to smoke in?" Chance rolled his eyes. "Dogs don't smoke, dude. Ain't no smokin' goin' on in there. How is a pooch gonna roll up a bleezy?" Chance retorted. Anyhoo, 3 hours, 12 pounds worth of sweat, one orgasm (on my part) and a splinter later, the competition came to a close. First ,Ny was shown Tango's teams creation. She liked it, but the end decision was left up to Your Majesty. She put the dog down, and Your Majesty sniffed the place out, saying without saying that it was merely "OKAY". Next was Rico's group. They presented to NY and Your Majestjy what I like to call "Cardboard Hell." Ewwww. Your Majesty took one look at it and was like, "Fuck that shit". She wouldn't go near it. And NY let the guys know that thier creation was some "seriously busted up shit". Finally... 12~Packs group. They unveiled the new house, and it was a fabulous montage of pinks and silvers and blacks, with faux fur and pink zebra print everywhere. Over the top. Dramatic. GAUDY, even. So naturally NY and Your Majesty LOVED it! Your Majesty hopped in and got cozy right away.Team 12~Pack was the clear winner, and so the guys had to run off to get ready for thier dates, while Chance complained that the whole ordeal was Boston's fault. First up for a date was Real. NY confided in him that she was into both HIM and his brother Chance. Saying that both of them were to totally different guys. Chance, she says, is a str8 up thug. While Real simply LOOKS thugged out, but has a calm and gentlemanly demeanor. Ain't it the truth. She says she would never come between the two of them, but that it may come down to Real and Chance being the final two. "How would you feel about that?" NY asks. "Just follow your heart, I won't hold it against you." Real answers sweetly. Then it's off to find Heat. In the previous challenge, Heat admitted that he would make sure that he, his mom, and his ya~ya(nanna) would ALL eat before NY did. New York wasn't feelin' that statement, so she took the time out to ask him about that. Heat tells her that family is first in his life. He also stated that wherever he goes, Ya~Ya and mommy will have a house out back, so he can keep them close. Then he asks New York if he can kiss her "Butta lips". Dude is str8 up psycho. I mean, Heat is really looney tune. Anyway, the third, and most EXCITING date, goes to 12~Pack. New York has enlisted the services of a tantric expert, who has New York and 12~Pack change into something sexy. 12~Pack dons a leopard print speedo. Then she makes them do this little dance so that they can "feel each others' aura". The end result was a sexy little shimmy that was a cross between a stripper on Crenshaw and a belly dancer in Arabia. But they worked it out, nonetheless. After being tied up in each other like pretzels, 12~Pack has to pee, and after THAT, he goes to get drinks. He shows off his little speedo, and Heat and Real are getting suspiscious, because this date is lasting HELLA longer than either of thiers. So they devise a plan to climb up to NY's balcony, Romeo style, and see what the hell is going on. Using a ladder and that piece of shit doghouse his brother made, real climbs up on the balcony, looking all exotic with that hair loose. He says he feels like King Kong saving his girl. Hell, looking like that, he can go fucking banannas on me ANY DAY. He grabs some grapes and some liquour, and then sneaks over to the window, where NY easily spots him. He sees her get up, and tries to go and hide behind the patio furniture, but that bushy hair gave him away. NY takes it lightly, but still tells him and Heat that they gotta bounce. So they do. After spending even MORE time with NY, 12~Pack ambles downstairs to find his drinkin' buddy, Heat. The two of them commence to knock 'em back as if they were drinking milk. As the other guys retire to their rooms, Heat and 12~Pack keep on drinking. And drinking. And drinking. This continues until 12~Pack is doing the robot while Heat raps along in his own, odd little language. After that, the two of them head outside and have a total Brokeback mountain moment with each other. It's now 4:19, and the guys FINALLY decide to give it a rest. Less than to hours later, Sister Patterson storms into the guys' rooms like a perfume~scented tsunami. "Get up ! We're going to church!!" At this point, Heat and 12~Pack crawl out of bed like zombies. And Heat is totally burned out, screaming to the top of his lungs for someone to deliver him some meds. About 2 hours later, all the guys are coming downstairs, ready to roll out, and they all look pretty snazzy. That is, until Chance comes down. Dude is wearing a Triple XL T shirt, with a red hat and a yellow scarf under it. Lookin' sexy, no doubt, but NOT suitable for church. Sister P asks him to remove the hat, which was a simple enough request, but he declines. Sister Patterson isn't in the mood to argue, so she let's go of the whole thing, and they all leave for church. Mr. Boston rides in the limo with New York and her mom, where he confides in them that he's jewish, and that his family wouldn't have a problem with him having a "light skin black" baby. The guys and girls arrive at church, and Chance stays outside with his little red hat. Church commences, and after a while it's Momma's turn to talk. She gets in front of the church, going on and on about how she "doesn't know what she's doing here" but that she "knows god ordered her footsteps to be there and speak to the congregation" (?) Then she goes into a screaming fit and starts shaking like an etch~a~sketch. Then there is a confessional of Onyx saying that he thought Sister Patterson was a little "over the top". Chance hears all the screaming outside. Either because he was suddenly moved by Sister P's words or because he is incredibly nosy, he takes the hat off, comes inside, and recieves a hug from sister Patterson. Awwwwwwwwwww.
Back at the house, Tango, Rico, Chance, and Onyx are hangin' out by the pool. The subject of church arises, and Onyx admits that he felt Sister Patterson was a fake. A fraudulent bitch, if you will. "She started hollering immediately. She didn't even have TIME to feel anything." Dedicated snitch that he is, Tango convinced Rico to come upstairs with him that night and inform NY of this news. She doesn't recieve it well at ALL. Fast forward to elimination. 12~Pack, Real, White~boy, Tango, Rico, and Chance all get chains. But when she gets to the last one, she stops for a dramatic pause. "This last chain," she says, "is definitely not for YOU, Onyx. May I tell you why?" She then explains to him that he had a lot of nerve to insult not only Sister P but her (NY) as well. "I don't know who you think you are, I don't CARE who you think you are, but I think you betta Raiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise up outta here." She then lets Onyx know that he wasn't good enough for her. "I'm better" he says. " I see your thoughts are coming from your ASS right now, b/c you for DAMN sure ain't better than New York." Then she rounds on Heat. "It's not for you either, Heat. I think it's time for you to go home to Ya~Ya, and you can tell her New York said what's up." Heat walks out without addressing her. "It's still gonna be HOT around here without you, Heat." She assures him. Then she calls Boston down for his chain, and kisses him, smudging lip gloss all over his face. The guys say goodnight to mama, and toast to New York.
